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| Time: | 5:32 am. |
| Mood: |  crappy. | | Music: | HeLp Me HeLp Me!!!!!!. |
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alright here how life is now!
im stressed out all the time, and when i get stressed i get sick. my mom thinks i am a hypocondriact(sp?). my mom also thinks that i am a selfish little bitch who is in need of constant attention, which is so not true...im a fuckin middle child, im used to no attention.
im going insane living in this house!
i love my boyfriend so much, but i cant help to think y he picked me. he is too good for me. i dont deserve such a wonderful person.
i want out of the shitty life! i dont want it anymore. its not like they would miss me! i wanna be gone...
buh byez
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31 //
Jagged Little Pills
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Thursday, April 8th, 2004
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| Time: | 7:51 am. |
| Mood: |  moody. | | Music: | Take My Breath Away- Jessica Simpson. |
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antonio and me are getting our apartment soon! yay...im so excited. it is gunna rock.
lol im watching Anger Management. i love adam sandler, i think he is awesome...
lol i walked in on Mike watching porn last night, i was like what the fuck!ewwwwy...
im supposed to be looking for colleges. i did apply to NYU, UF and CALU. im not sure if they are gunna accept me or not, but those were my top 3, i really want at least one of them.
im so sick of getting cloths and then kate lynn wears them before i ever get to wear them. i got these really cute new jeans that i didnt even wear and she got 4 cig holes in it. whatever!
ive been laying low of mom...im staying outta the way so she doesnt bug the hell outta me...its working so far.
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Jagged Little Pills
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| Time: | 5:01 am. |
| Mood: |  crazy. | | Music: | Martina Mcbride- I Love You. |
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lol yesterday was April Fools and i totally forgot... last year i put serand(sp?) rap around the toilet bowls, ya i got bitched at but my brothers thought it was funny...
last night i was so crazy...first of all i had too much to drink. so i guess bryan was trying to take me home. but stubborn me didnt want to go. Emma Lee, Fay, Kristal, Lucas, and Patrick were there and we were all having such a good time, i actually felt good to be around people who could relate to me, and that felt awesome!
its a shame that something so sweet becomes so bitter with time
xoxoxoxo maddie xoxoxoxo
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Jagged Little Pills
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Thursday, April 1st, 2004
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| Time: | 4:58 am. |
| Mood: |  cold. | | Music: | Fiona Apple- Criminal. |
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hey all!
im really cold right now...brrrr!
i dont even feel like being mature right now. i just want to do stupid things like shout PENIS to make people laugh...i kno it sounds dumb but i hate having to mature all the time, its exhausting!
i wish my parents would have put me up for adoption when i was a baby, maybe then i would have never met them or even wanted to because my adopters would love me like their own. i would feel wanted and special...
bryan gave me his class ring on monday night, it was our two year anniversery. i was a little nervous because for a few months we have been talking about marriage. but im 18 i dont want to marry yet.
xoxoxox maddie xoxoxox
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61 //
Jagged Little Pills
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| Time: | 8:55 am. |
| Mood: |  busy. | | Music: | Usher- My Way. |
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maybe i better keep it short today i dont have a lot of time...i have to take Jake to basketball practice.
take your records, take your freedom
take your memories, i dont need them
interpret it however, yes it is a song by keith urban!
thats all, buh byez...
xoxoxox maddie xoxoxox
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21 //
Jagged Little Pills
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| Time: | 5:00 am. |
| Mood: |  blah. | | Music: | D12- My Band. |
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well yesterday and the day before i kinda stayed in my room avoiding my mother. i really dont get it, ok it any of us (the kids) screw up for some reason we get grounded. mom fools around for a while and she gets a hot new guy and bags the old one...uh...a lil unfair dont ya think!
oh well, and the guys(Jonathan) sons, Robbie and Shawn, are so rude...i cant even stand it.
i havent seen bryan in a while, he would kill me if he knew i ran away. i have avoided him too... i guess i better go to school today, i havent gone in a while...
xoxoxoxo maddie xoxoxoxo
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21 //
Jagged Little Pills
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Thursday, March 18th, 2004
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| Time: | 9:33 am. |
| Mood: |  indescribable. | | Music: | Usher- Yeah. |
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ok so this is what has been going on with me lately...
i ran away, i stayed with my friends for a while. my mom has been being such a bitch since my dad left. she fuckin rented out part of our house to this dude because she couldnt pay the whole mortgage (sp?. this dude has two sons. as if we dont have enough kids in the house! i dont even think my mom noticed that i was gone.
mikie got arrested for 2 ounces of pot. so he violated his probahtion (sp?). he is so screwed!
well thats just part of it!
im out
xoxoxoxo maddie xoxoxoxo
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51 //
Jagged Little Pills
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Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
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| Subject: | excuse |
| Time: | 4:57 am. |
| Mood: |  groggy. | | Music: | ZZzzzZZzzzZZZzzzzzzzZzzzzzZZZ. |
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please excuse my short death, i have had hard times lately, i will update later on tonight, right now i have to get ready for school...
xoxoxox maddie xoxoxox
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Jagged Little Pills
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Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004
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| Time: | 6:53 pm. |
| Mood: |  jubilant. | | Music: | Black Eyed Peas- Dirty Dancing. |
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i love Bryan so much! words cant even describe! im sorry if you all dont want to hear this, but it is so true. he is my world! i get up in the mornings just to see him and no one else!
anywayz...
o ya and my mom and dad r getting a divorce! whoo hoo, its about damn time! dad is moving out soon and well thats y im so happy. i kno it sounds terrible but it makes me happy!
well im gone!
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41 //
Jagged Little Pills
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